there's a new girl at work. i've been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but alas. she's not picking up our products very fast. she gets flustered when on the phone with brokers. she's a little flaky and self-centered. she uses pet names for everyone. she's also on personal phone calls frequently and she doesn't lower her volume which means the rest of us have to hear every painful moronic detail from her life inside and outside of work. here's a quick sample:
"totally. you're the best! when i don't want to kill myself, i totally luv ya! how was your weekend? i'm totally having a panic attack! i'm so skinny. i hope my nerves will make me skinnier! i love myself, even when i am having a panic attack! why doesn't he luv me? i am so wondaful. i mean, i am such a good catch. oh my god, what the f*ck, this f*cking rep, i don't f*cking understand. should i eat? oh my god, hun, youwah such a sweetie!"
she actually sounds a lot like a turkey (maybe i just have thanksgiving on the brain). imagine sneaking up behind a 25lb turkey and kicking it, as hard as you physically can, square in the asshole. that sound is what she sounds like when she speaks. i think i'll call her gobbeletta.
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