*Straight* Weddings Are Stupid

violent acres posted an entry a couple days back highlighting why weddings are stupid. she points out the ginormous expense of the dress, the open bar, the fancy photographer, the tropical paradise theme, etc.

i agree with her 100%. wouldn't it be better if people were like, "hey honey, let's get married in the back yard and instead of an over-the-top reception, i'll pay off $30,000 of our debt"?! or "let's put a down payment on a house instead of throwing a party for 200 of our relatives that we never speak to."

this is EXACTLY why more people should get gay married. let me illustrate: my partner and i are getting married next weekend. we spent under a grand on our rings. we did go ape shit on our suits and barney's ties and dolce & gabanna shoes, but it still cost about 1/3 of a vera wang wedding dress (we're homos, what do you expect?). we're getting married in a park by my cousin who is a JP and having a reception of about 50 friends and family. yes, we pissed many of our friends off because we kept the reception small, but whatever, we didn't want to go into debt over this event. we're having the reception at our favorite restaurant in boston which has a gorgeous private dining room. dj, photographer, 4 course meal, flowers, and open bar will run us about $12,000. ...and it will be gorgeous. yes, you stupid straight women, you can have a simple AND beautiful AND inexpensive wedding if you can think outside of your martha stewart wedding magazine bubble and recognize that the event is not about showing off, it's about celebrating your commitment. you may say, "but i've been dreaming about my special day since i was a little girl". yeah, well, i've been dreaming about fucking luke skywalker since i was 5 but your childhood dreams don't always come true, do they bitch? you are not a worthy, all-deserving princess. your wedding is not just about you and i have to think that 99% of straight men would prefer what we're doing compared to the $60,000 self-indulgent pepto vomit fest that are the straight weddings.

remembering jerry falwell

america carries a heavy heart today as jerry falwell passes on to another realm. i pay tribute to him by citing a few quotes from his many years of christian ministry:

"I do question the sincerity of people like the Reverend Martin Luther King..."

"Labor unions should study and read the Bible instead of asking for more money. When people get right with God, they are better workers."

"I hope to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we don't have public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them."

Jerry on the anti-christ: "must be, of necessity, a Jewish male"

On the 9/11 attacks: "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"

And my personal favorite: "AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals."

May you rest in peace you fat, bigoted fuck.

confronting the colonel

had more work drama this week with this dude (see ani difranco montage). i'm finally standing up for myself though. it feels good, like punching a nazi.

IT'S FOR HER

my friend travis made this short. freaking hilarious.