in defnese of gentrification

dear holy rolling hipsters,

in my recent travels to austin, anticipating the construction of my house on the east side, i've seen your welcome signs spray painted accross bridges, walls, and billboards. do you recall any of them? some read "yuppies off the east side", "stop gentrification now", and "go west yuppies. keep out of east austin". funny, when i have new neighbors move in, i usually bring over a pie or my famous ginger-molasses cookies. i guess this is the way you greet newcomers in your neck of the woods.

i'm a little confused by how you're defining "yuppie", however. if you mean rich, white, straight, soccer mom-esque, conservative, blue shirt/khaki-wearing christians then you've simply got me all wrong.

let me set the record straight: i'm a happily married homo from a blue-collar family who enjoys reveling in loud music, congregating in the back yard for late-night dance-offs, political activism, getting to know brown people, making irreverent t-shirit designs, playing my musical instruments whenever-the-fuck-i-feel-like-it, speaking spanish fluently, amongst other non-puritanical activities.

so, my little ironic, anger-filled friends, if you consider me to be in the yuppie "ballpark", so be it. do you think that i'm going to ruin your neighborhood? displace poor people? ...because i bought an empty lot so i didn't force anyone out and unfortunately, the cost of living increases regardless of who moves into your hood because of this little thing called inflation. also, we live in a capitalist society so i can kind of live wherever i want. you see, that's the beauty of america. if you want to live in an insular environment, the germans had a really great model for that. in fact, they invented the word "ghetto", which denotes keeping people contained in a neighborhood to perpetuate poverty and disenfranchisement. should we keep our poor people contained from the world around them? or should we "yuppies" move in, start businesses, and offer opportunities that would not have been available otherwise?

i think it's small-minded of y'all to tell me to get out of your neighborhood and "go west" with the rest of the rich white folks when in actuality, i probably have more in common with the latino and black communities of the east side. i'm used to being marginalized for being gay and fighting for causes that directly effect the safety and future well-being of my family and other gay families.

being from boston, i'm all about history and preservation and i can't wait to get to know the locals and become involved in understanding and conserving the vibrant culture of east austin. i think we can all get along. you know, i hate starbucks too and i am happy to patron the local businesses to get a sense of what the neighborhood is all about. hey, that's cash flow that these businesses wouldn't have if i didn't move in!

i know y'all have your ramones t-shirts in a twitch because you don't want to be reminded of the white bourgeois you've tried so hard to run from. you may have a lot of tattoos and some really tight black jeans but i know you grew up in a subdivision 30 miles north of town where you ate white bread and ham sandwiches. i never understood why, if you hipsters are so subversive, you all look the same. you have the same haircuts, listen to the same music, are pissed off about the same things. you expect anyone worth talking to to take a vow of poverty and live in a cardboard box. whenever one of your friends goes on tour or gets noticed by the mainstream, they've sold out in your mind. did you know that you can be subversive and still like to buy loafers at barney's? i know that you're rebelling against your upper-middle class upbringing and you want to feel the full range of emotions but you can't take it out on my amazing new homo/ethno friendly house being built around the corner from your shit box.

not to fear, the city has already limited my new home size to fit the envelope of the surrounding houses so that i won't put up an over sized monstrosity on my postage stamp lot. i actually think that's a great idea. it will help me show my brown neighbors that i'm not trying to alienate them.

maybe you're mad because you're not as successful an artist you had hoped to be and i actually made a few bucks...in fact i've made enough to live the lifestyle you wish you had. besides, i'm the guy who will probably buy your art. you need to remember that it's really hard for me to get the cash out of my wallet when you won't stop biting my hand.

your friendly new neighbor,

andy