it wasn't so much that i was a spiritual person, i was just really good at following along. it's like a baby who only eats strained peas and you're ok with that even though it's a little boring. then one day on a play date your friend has strained carrots and you have some and they're great and then you get a little older and you're like, "shit, did anyone out there know about mashed bananas?" once you can get your hands on bacon it's all over. fuck, and then there's wine.
i ate all the fucking strained peas i could and then grabbed a handful of bacon and never looked back.
are we really supposed to eat strained peas to gain salvation? why are we trying to get saved in the first place? so that we can eat strained peas with jesus forever? i'd rather stick with bacon and syrah for my measly 80 years, thank you very much.
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i'll take bacon with a side of bacon, please
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