Good Morning Muffins

I get irritated easily in the morning. I'll give you an example... I stop by this bakery on my way to work every day around 7:45am to get coffee. Once in a while there's this woman, about 45 years old, wears overly-modest ankle length skirts, pantyhose with her Teva sandals, you get the picture. Anyway, the bakery makes these delicious muffins called "Good Morning Muffins". It's a delectible concoction of carrots, raisins, cinnamon and buttery delicousness. These muffins are aptly named and are not to be fucked with. This woman ALWAYS orders these muffins, however she consistently calls them "Glorious Morning Muffins", which do not exist. My face turns red and my fists clench. "I love these Glorious Morning Muffins!" She skips away with crumbs all over her whiskery mouth. Some days I want to scream at her, "It's a Good Fucking Morning Motherfucking Muffin, you cunt!" But I don't. I clench my jaw and order my coffee and leave because I realize that 98% of America is mildly retarded.