key/pie bullshit quiz

You're key lime pie. You don't unlock anything
really, but you taste good and make people
happy. You may have trouble paying attention to
anything for long periods of time, though.


What sort of key are you and what do you unlock?
brought to you by Quizilla

Global Competitiveness Report 2005-2006

the world economic forum just published the global competitiveness report which essentially ranks each nation based on economic expansion and prosperity. i was baffled to see china ranked #49, down from #46 a year ago. it seems like we are bombarded with data about china's key role as an emerging superpower and its threat to our space in the global marketplace. china's rank, i presume, is due to their flawed infrastructure and social policies.

in any case, i found it amusing that spain was ranked far above china at #29. spain ranked above china, a nation renowned for it's industrial boom and huge technological resources?! uhhh....what does spain's GDP consist of again? spain is a nation whose culture revolves around napping. don't get me wrong, i've been to barcelona and LOVED it. the people/food/nightlife were fantastic, these people really know how to live. in fact, they are able to party so much because they get up and go to work for 10am, take a 2 hour lunch then siesta for about 4 hours in the afternoon. businesses shut down, everything stops so that people can take naps. what do they actually get done during the day? maybe the chinese should nap more.

good times never felt so good (so good! so good! so good!)

so last night i flew in from philly where i've been traveling on business for the last two days. the flight was delayed 2 hours which bled into the redsox game for which i had fantastic grandstand seats. in my absence, during the 2nd inning a foul ball actually ricocheted off my seat and flew up about 20 rows. i have never in my 24 years been in the direct path of a foul ball. thank you, US Airways, for sucking so badly.

speaking of sucking badly, thanks be to hairy/horny/high/drunk/retarded girl in front of us waving her arms profusely exposing the small of her back every 5 minutes. "what? exposing the small of her back? that's hot!", you may say. on the contrary, my heterosexual carnivorous friends, she had a dark brown happy trail going down to her ass. i think it was an actual animal pellet she stapled to her backside. the only logical explanation i can come up with is that she traveled a long distance from a much colder climate where it is socially acceptable for her hunter/gatherer community to allow such growth. it was nizzasty. i tried to snap a photo of it but i think the 8 glasses of beer i drank inhibited my speedy execution. i did, however, catch a shot of my fenway frank.

much love and good luck to the redsox this weekend and our furry friends everywhere.

blame it on the rain

my tech stocks took a dive today and blue chips ended slightly higher. i was hoping for a slight post-hurricane rally this week but to no avail. economic indicators are looking bogus and consumer confidence is hitting a 15 year low. wtf? i'm still crossing my fingers for a year end s&p rally of around 5% which is probably overly optimistic.

so i've been talking to this rep named rosario all day (it's a dude) and i want to keep calling him "rosie" a la karen's housekeeper on will&grace. he's looking for a recommendation on any "christian funds" that may be available on our platform. he has no idea who he's talking to. "um, hello, sodom? do you know of any good christian mutual funds i can buy for my client?"
"uhhh...try VICEX." *snickers*

ah, just another day promoting the homosexual agenda.

UIT/UTI

So sometimes at work I mix up these two things:
UIT =Unit Investment Trust (a tradable security)
UTI =Urinary Tract Infection
I've got to get these straight.

*rolls eyes*

in other news, the term "soul mate" makes me want to vomit.

poem du jour:
we make TV shows about shit we're scared to do//filling our living rooms with someone else's living//they say reality takes off about 10lbs//apparently TV isn't so forgiving

Stay Cool

• started the day with a nice rally, but alas, the market cooled and all my long positions are flat
• essie and i made sweet potato ravioli for my friend sara on friday night. they were delicious, Frank Stitt's Southern Table is probably my favorite cookbook of all time.
• currently counting down the minutes to get out of here and hit the treadmill.

contemplating 

blury in ny 

Good Morning Muffins

I get irritated easily in the morning. I'll give you an example... I stop by this bakery on my way to work every day around 7:45am to get coffee. Once in a while there's this woman, about 45 years old, wears overly-modest ankle length skirts, pantyhose with her Teva sandals, you get the picture. Anyway, the bakery makes these delicious muffins called "Good Morning Muffins". It's a delectible concoction of carrots, raisins, cinnamon and buttery delicousness. These muffins are aptly named and are not to be fucked with. This woman ALWAYS orders these muffins, however she consistently calls them "Glorious Morning Muffins", which do not exist. My face turns red and my fists clench. "I love these Glorious Morning Muffins!" She skips away with crumbs all over her whiskery mouth. Some days I want to scream at her, "It's a Good Fucking Morning Motherfucking Muffin, you cunt!" But I don't. I clench my jaw and order my coffee and leave because I realize that 98% of America is mildly retarded.