the reason i started making t-shirts with steph

my new installation on newbury street, boston

i call it "barbies in dirt". curator: maya, age 5. location: outside of starbucks.

pride on the freeway ramp

i wish this came out better but i was trying to drive. the interior of the sign is one of those cheesy air-brushed pictures of dolphins jumping out of the ocean. is there a high density of dolphins in houston?

no nuggets in dallas

now nimble fingers that dance on numbers
will eat your children and steal your thunder,
while heavy torsos that heave and hurl
who crunch like nuts in the mouths of squirrels.

shut the fuck up. -cake

just got dissed for the first time in a rep's office. i was supposed to have 3 individual meetings. the first guy showed. the second meeting with this chick, didn't happen because she forgot i was coming in and didn't have time. the third dude has his admin call me and tell me today was no good. i confirmed all of these appointments over 2 weeks ago. fuck em.

lonestar

i'm driving around texas all week in a rented SUV against my will. i think i've completely sold out.

the big plan...

...is just to keep spinning, cuz the big bang is only just beginning and sometimes it's all we can do just to hang on. -ani

i've been sort of "out-of-blogging-commission" for the past couple of weeks mostly due to the fact that i've been interviewing in a series of hard and harder-core interviews for an external sales position which i finally landed about 2 weeks ago. i've been pitching and scheduling and making travel arrangements like a mad man. now that i'm actually in the field, i should have more time to make comments on my ever-changing surroundings.

this week i'm in oklahoma. have you ever been? let me sum it up for you: wal-mart. church. school. wal-mart. church. school. in that order. on every block. people here love their wal-marts and they love their jesus. if it weren't for the fact that they are so fucking friendly, i'd say it's almost downright satanic. i've come to realize that people only understand that which exists in their realm of exposure. i have nothing against the citizens of oklahoma, but i do pity the younger generation who seems to be sheltered and heavily influenced by their church leaders. the congregation is their realm of influence which makes me *slightly* more sympathetic to their perceived homophobia and fundamentalism...not that i would ever find homophobia and bigotry acceptable, but it's easy for us bi-coastal, "educated" liberals to cast the first stone.

i reconnected with my great aunt, mrs. frida hicks, last night. sister of my grandmother. descendant of the biggerstaffs. archivist, wife, mother, grandmother, storyteller. she lives about 15 miles from my hotel here in oklahoma city. it's been a good 8 years since i last saw her. we had a casual dinner at a restaurant owned by one of her fellow congregation members and then went back to her house to chat. small talk came easy. although she tried to avoid bringing up the subject of her ailing husband, i could tell that she's been distraught over his bout with alzheimers. he's hardly recognizable to her anymore after 40 some-odd years of marriage. searching for consoling words without tagging on the "i'm so sorry" cliches, i commented on what a good wife she's been to him. although she denies her good-nature, she admits, "well, i made a promise". that'll slug you square in the chest.

aunt frida spent a good portion of the past decade researching our lineage. she has traced our direct line all the way back to 17th century europe, markedly, the 30 year war in germany. she has our family's records from the census of 1790, birth records cris-crossing the continent, and land-ownership documents spanning two and a half centuries. we spent the good portion of last night discussing our ancestors.

i asked frida why she had such an interest in our family tree, she said that she was intrigued by all of the characters that emerge when you study old records and letters; you start to see a story materialize and therein lies the formation of history. frida told me that since her life had always been so average, she found that the quirky and sometimes unusual lives of our foremothers and forefathers filled a void in her identity. all things being equal, i find frida to be fascinating and insightful--far from average. she can remember a relative's name or birthday as though it had been written on her grocery list the day before. she catalogues each person. she could converse about cousin jim two towns away or sergeant hicks who served in the civil war. frida will talk about each person as though they had been at her home for a cookout last sunday. she's traveled the country in search our distant past and uncovered plethoras of intricate relationships and connections that most americans neglect in regards to their family heritage. so many of us identify as "half german/half irish", "half english/half french" when in fact your history happened here, right under your feet. i couldn't help but be proud of frida's research, her archives in the city library, and the part she's played in telling the story of our family's piece of american history. my only regret is that i can't stay here longer to help her cope with the slow decay of her husband's mental capacity. in this town of "wal-mart. church. school." frida was a breath of fresh air and a reminder to me that the wisdom and knowledge of the elderly is not to be forsaken and to know your roots is to know yourself.

p.s. i share the name of my great-great grandfather, creston e. biggerstaff, as noted in the second photo.

now taking orders, sizes xs to xl

baby blue fine jersey with this lovely design by motto (i.e. andy and steph)

everyone loves a tranny

went to the fenway community health center's annual men's event last weekend. "arwin", featured in these photos, looked terrific. i just want you to realize that essie is about 6'2" and i'm a hair taller at 6'3". arwin is fucking ginormous.

i know that europe still has its tag team

madge, madge, MADGE! you're scary old-lady yoga arms are making you look like, well, a scary old lady! can you please get some fat injections into your extremeties? i mean, your body is rock solid but you're not 25 anymore. please put on a sweater.

speaking of the abba sampling post-modern disco queen, i've been singing the wrong lyrics to "hung up" for about 5 months now. during the bridge of the song she sings:

i can't keep on waiting for you
i know that you're still hesitating

i thought it was:

i can't keep on waiting for you
i know that europe still has its tag team

an OBVIOUS mistake, by anyone's standards.

is this a pun?

"Brokeback Mountain a shoo-in for this year's best-picture award at the Oscars? Not so fast, says Kim Masters, who points out that Crash has a decent shot at a come-from-behind victory." -NPR.org

the comeback

i haven't blogged in AGES! rio was amazing, you can check out all the pictures if you click on the flicker icon to the right. my job has been insanely busy and i haven't checked the capital markets or anything in the past week and a half. oy.

back to reality...

there's this woman who calls in everyday, i mean EVERY DAY, about some stupid bullshit invesmtnet management question and she's always like, "hi! it's colleen." i'm always like, "colleen who?". she gets so pissed off at me evertime she has to say her full name. i love it. it makes me happy all over. it makes my inner child giddy and my inner black woman chortle.

boo boo is alive!

ARKADELPHIA, Arkansas (AP) -- This chicken had lips, just not her own.

A retired nurse saved her brother's chicken, Boo Boo, by administering mouth-to-beak resuscitation last week after the fowl was found floating face down in the family's pond.

Marian Morris said she hadn't had any practice with CPR in years, but she was interested to see if she "still had it."

"I breathed into its beak, and its dadgum eyes popped open," Morris said. "I breathed into its beak again, and its eyes popped open again. I said, 'I think this chicken's alive now. Keep it warm."'

She said she did not know how to find a pulse on a chicken.

Boo Boo's owners, Jackie and Becky Calhoun, put her in a large cardboard box containing a grain feeder and water. They also placed a heater nearby.

The chicken is called Boo Boo because she is easily frightened. The Calhouns thought Boo Boo was startled and flopped into the pond.

------

in my first grade reading group, mrs. orloski asked us all what type of animal we would be if we could choose to be any animal at all. matt k. said he'd like to be a bear. chris said he'd be dog. pretty predictable responses for first graders. i of course said dolphin, the freaking gayest response EVER. poor little emily lorenzo chose a chicken. mrs. orloski burst into condescending laughter and ridiculed emily for making such a "stupid" choice. "what if someone wanted to EAT you!??", she cackled. i always felt bad for not standing up for emily's chicken morphing fantasy. a little piece of her spirit died that day in reading group. i hope that somehow, emily hears of boo boo's inspiring story and breathes the life back into her proverbial beak.

i keep hearing samba everywhere i go

*two more days till departure!

**my cubicle will not define me.

***an organic way to build your fanbase and pay for the production of your album? it's a record company's nightmare.

brasilia

essie and i are leaving for brazil on friday for about 10 days. here's everything i'm packing:

live, from punxsutawney pennsylvania...

...at the groundhog rally "The American Physiological Society was offering experts to discuss "What Punxsutawney Phil can teach us about surviving massive blood loss, preventing muscle atrophy, and more." -AP

WTF?

state of disparity

W, you can't have an aggressive middle-east PR program without making an aggressive change in energy protocol at home. 25% alternative energy by 2025 is not enough. we need a gasoline tax and incentives for american car companies to produce---en masse---hybrid vehicles. if there is no demand, we will not get off the sauce.

our kids have been falling behind other developed nations in math and science for years now. we're kicking out our foreign students as soon as they finish their dissertations. when they go back to india or bejing they contribute to the 12% GDP overseas. why not give them visas to help US develop new technologies HERE and give them jobs HERE, maybe give foreign masters students visas to stay and teach math/science/technology in our public schools. we are drowning in our consumerism and our kids don't know any better.

plain ignunt

"The S&P had a measly return of 4.9 percent. Securities firms gave out a record $21.5 billion in year-end bonuses. That's fair." -Fortune Magazine

um, last time i checked, wall street professionals were in the forefront of the global finanical markets. they are trading complex derivatives, making currency plays, conducting M&A deals, etc. they get paid for the amount of risk they take. in a mediocre market, traders and bankers have to take on additional risk to inflate returns for their big institutional clients, god forbid they get bonuses for being good at their respectives roles. so no, you ignorant masses, it's not fair that i-bankers made more than you this year. it's not fair that YOU dumped all your money into a big ass house that you can't afford and now you can't sell because the real estate market is leveling so you're bitter and jealous. i get my year end bonus next week and i'm going to laugh all the way to the bank!

don't go chasing waterfalls

i have that song in my head, you know, the one by TLC. seems appropriate in the current state of bearish forecasts for the market this year. remember lisa "left eye" lopez? isn't it kind of ironic that she died in a MUDSLIDE in honduras or some shit? NEWSFLASH: IN AN STRANGE TWIST OF FATE, LISA "LEFT EYE" LOPEZ DIES WHILE CHASING WATERFALL. RIP, left-eye.

i love diet coke!

put another 70 cents in the vending maching baby!